I have to say I had a blast with my children yesterday. I pulled the grill from off the deck & joined the block party. The music resonated from one end of the block to the other. The girls & I discussed fall fashions, Gucci vs Louis Vuitton and school uniforms. I danced the slide with my youngest daughter. I helped my youngest son attempt a back flip on the trampoline and watched as my oldest daughter out-sang a girl who's twice her age. Then got rave reviews for my jerk & teriyaki burgers and steaks, served with seafood salad, I'd shared with neighbors. And to top the night off My oldest son & I reminisced of the days when he was the only child as we looked at pictures and watched Desperate House Wives on Netflix! I've lived on this block, in this house, for the past seven years and never have I joined any festivities...until yesterday! I feel a certain freedom now that wasn't there before. I could tell myself that its because my children are older but that's not the reason why. Over the past 2 years I have either removed myself from things that bound me to fear & frustration or had gotten rid of things that caused fear & frustration. Doing so has allowed me to be in a position to bond on my terms.
I know from personal experiences that in life, sometimes we find ourselves between a rock and a hard place but a decision must be made. My decision caused me to have to start over from scratch in every area of my life. A life that I had built over the past 12 years. Grant it, it has taken time for healing from anger, pain and even fear to occur but, through the process I have gained so much more. The trade off is immeasurable in comparison. Sometimes you just have to place yourself in a better position. Other times you just have to take the trash out...I did both at the same time! Similar to spring cleaning. Things are rearranged, pulled out, thrown out, all so that the filth that's hidden under the couch and behind the stove and fridge can be cleaned. If left there, the filth accumulates causing greater issues and discomfort in the home. Well, for me it would. Yesterday, I saw a glimpse of the reward of said cleaning. Unity, liberty, bonds repairing and new ones forming. Sometimes in life the best decisions made are the most difficult to make. But look at what's to gain by choosing to get rid of the junk (people) that caused the mess in the first place, as opposed to pretending the mess isn't really there to begin with.
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